New World
by SiriusMarauderFan
Summary: Sirius develops a phobia of everyday Muggle technology and Petunia has to put up him. one shot.


**Author's Note:** Very grateful for my team.

Written for...

Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition. _Team/Position:_ Holyhead Harpies, Seeker. _Task:_ Write about a Pureblood witch or wizard marrying a Muggle and learning how to use everyday Muggle technology.

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 **New World**

 _1,009 words_

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"What the hell is that?"

Petunia looked up from her newspaper and followed Sirius' gaze to the refrigerator.

"That's the fridge, love. Don't you have fridges where you grew up?"

Sirius eyed the tall rectangle warily, slowly inching closer to inspect it in just his boxers.

"What does it _do?_ "

"It keeps our food cold; it's for milk and such." She watched him poke cautiously at the door. "How do you do it?"

He waved his hand absently, as if he hand a wand in it. "Just, you know, poof."

Petunia shook her head and went back to the newspaper. "We can't all have magic, love."

:-:

It was a Saturday and usually Petunia enjoyed the romance movies that would air on Saturday afternoons. Usually she was alone, too.

She flicked on the telly and began flicking through channels, unaware of the look of horror on her boyfriend's face.

"Petunia. What are you doing?"

She glanced at him. "Have you never seen a telly before?"

"Why are the people so small?"

"Really? It's just…" she paused, frantically trying to think of an easy way to explain what a television was. "Um. It's like a ghost? No, that's not right … we record people and it plays on the screen. You have theatre in your world, don't you? It's like that."

"Okay…" He didn't sound convinced, still watching the screen as if Mr. Darcy would leap out and attack him. "Can we turn it off?"

Petunia sighed and hit the power button. "Yes, dear."

:-:

"Petunia! This thing is yelling at me!"

Petunia ran through the house to the den, where Sirius had backed himself into a corner to distance himself from the phone ringing on the end table. She sighed and picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, sis. James and I were thinking of having a little get together tonight. Can you and Sirius make it?"

Petunia glanced at her boyfriend and rolled her eyes at him as he still cowered in the corner. "I'll be there. I'm not sure if he'll be recovered by then.

:-:

"I'm telling you, Petunia, these things aren't safe!"

Petunia grit her teeth, turning onto James and Lily's street. "Sirius Black. You have seen a car before."

"Yes! But being in one is … it's so confining! How do you do it every day?" He tugged at his seatbelt. "I could've just Apparated us…"

"Not after the last time, thank you. At least this way there's no chance of losing an arm."

"It was an accident, and you got it back. Normally I'm very good at Apparition."

She parked in front of the Potter's house and marched to the front door, leaving him work out how to get his seatbelt off himself.

Lily answered the door and could immediately see something was wrong in Petunia's expression. She pulled her sister through a crowd of rowdy men - James among them - and into the quiet kitchen.

"Is everything alright? Where's Sirius?"

"He's probably trying to escape the car right now," Petunia huffed. "I don't know what's gotten into him. We were meant to have a nice, quiet weekend together. We rarely get the time, what with everything that's been going on."

Lily nodded. "James and I are just getting back to our normal routine since the battle."

"Right. And I understand Sirius is under a lot of stress with his work and family." Petunia stopped abruptly, glaring at the doorway, where James had poked his head in.

"Hi, Petunia. I take it I'm interrupting?"

"Go check on Sirius, will you?" Lily barked. "He's trapped in Petunia's car."

James frowned and ran off.

"I don't know what's gotten into him today," Petunia continued. "He's been freaking out about every little thing - the fridge, the toaster, my hair dryer. I know it's his first time staying at my place, but I thought these were things he would've seen beforehand."

Lily cocked her head. "Something's up."

:-:

Sirius banged on the car window, breathing a sigh of relief as he saw his best friend racing for the car.

"What happened?" James wondered as he released Sirius from his metal prison. "Did she lock you in?"

Sirius looked back at the house to make sure no one was listening in, then started laughing.

"I've convinced Petunia that I'm terrified of Muggle technology. It's great!"

James began laughing as well. "That's brilliant. I did that once with Lily's mum. I got her to explain a microwave to me once."

"James Potter!"

The men whirled around to find their significant others glaring at them from the porch.

Lily stormed toward them, smacking Sirius' arm. "I knew you were up to something. You've seen my fridge. And you-" She grabbed James' shirt. "Don't even think about trying something like that with me."

"But, Lily, I haven't done anything yet," James said, allowing himself to be dragged back to the house. "Why am I in trouble?"

"I heard what you did to Mum."

They went inside, leaving Petunia to sort out Sirius on her own.

He smiled guiltily, keeping the car between them. "I love you, darling."

She stared at him in disbelief. "Do you really think that's going to work?"

"It does for James."

"It really doesn't." She crossed her arms over her chest. "How could you do that to me?"

"I was only having fun." He pouted. "And the car really was confining."

"Sirius-"

"But I saw a really long one once - I think James said it's called a 'limo' - and that looks really spacious. Could we get one?"

"No. You're just going to have to make do with my car." Petunia smiled, an idea forming. "As a matter of fact, I think that's going to be your punishment for this little charade."

Sirius gulped. "Punishment?"

"Oh, yes. I've been worried sick all day. There will definitely be a punishment. Tomorrow, I'm teaching you how to drive a car."

Sirius paled, shaking his head. "No, please, anything but that."

"Sorry, love. It's time you're educated about how my world works."


End file.
